It's My Fault She's Overweight

One day last week, I was talking with the mother of another little girl in the program.  Her daughter is 7 and reminds me of my daughter when she was 7.  She's a sweet little girl. They started the program a week before we did.  She asked how it was going for us and I told her it was going fine but we are having some struggle with changes.  She agreed and told of what her family was struggling with, eating out, too much butter, still eating that big Sunday breakfast, etc.  But like my family, she is making the changes because we have no choice.

She then made the statement "I guess it's my fault and all parents fault that their kid becomes overweight. So I have to make the changes." I then agreed with her.  I do think it is my fault.  Granted I am married and my husband and I both have a part in it but I am the main person that deals with meals. I do feel that it is my responsibility and a parents responsibility to feed their child properly.  I believe that there is a cycle, you usually feed your child the way you were raised. It is not that way for everyone but most families, it is. I was not paying enough attention to how I was feeding her and this is the result.  I am now trying to "break the cycle" with her and my son (who is not overweight).  Luckily, I have a supportive family that is helping with the process.

I do not agree with the parents that say it isn't their fault that their child is overweight.  Our child did not drive themselves to the fast food restaurants, we could have baked and not fried, we could have said "no" to that extra helping of cake, we could have been more active, etc. Even if children are "pre-disposed" to being overweight, it is no excuse to not do better when you know better and we ALL know better in 2011.  So, if my daughter does not succeed in living a healthier life while she is 11 years old, then it is my fault.  I am taking this seriously.  I am not perfect at it and it is hard to say "no" when she wants something else besides seconds on vegetables but I know that it is necessary to "break the cycle" that was started. I know blaming the parents is always a hot button issue, but who else is there to blame?

It almost broke my heart the other day when my daughter said she just wanted to be in the 90's. At first I didn't know what she was talking about so I had to ask. She said she wanted to weigh in the 90s. I, again, explained to her that we are working to be healthy and that her weight will go down and she will get to a healthy weight and not to focus so much on the number because everyone's weight will be different.  I can tell her this but I don't know how much she understands. I hope she understands enough.